A Writer's Lament

All I feel is darkness in my soul and knurled branches twisting and causing pain.  I write and write but no one reads the words I have written, they bleed on the page and are lost and absorbed  into oblivion .  I speak and no one really hears me and responds. Perhaps what I have to say is not worth saying….I am lost.

 I have hopes and dreams…hopes that keep me going and help me to rise in the morning each day.  Hope helps me cling to this crazy life and helps me to put one foot in front of the other.  I need a way of pulling myself from despair. I used to think it was my writing, but I guess now I have my doubts……I feel like no one really cares to read my work.

Lord….help me find my way…..

When Chuches close their doors~the changing landscape of religion in America.

I guess it is no secret, and certainly nothing new in the last few decades, but the face of American religion has changed. The whole concept of what we believe as "church" needs to change to keep pace with changing cultural expectations and needs.  The churches that don't change, sadly sometimes suffer the fate of having to close their doors.

(Photo:http://secondchairleadership.com)

I write these words on the page, with a heavy heart, as I am trying to better understand and come to grips with these changes because my own church recently made the decision to close it's doors. So it is really hitting home with me. Living in the same community for over 25 years, my husband and I have seen two of the churches we attended close their doors.  In making light of the situation, my husband jokes that churches shouldn't let us through the doors...we are bad luck. "Quick close the doors! Here come the Smith's."  Humor frequently helps to lighten the load, and I am glad that we can laugh about our losses.  Yet, the empty feelings do come back.  Our boys were baptized in church #1, then confirmed in church #2.  So many memories of Youth retreats, Easter egg hunts and one of my favorites: the candlelight services on Christmas Eve. And I know Hubby and I will remember all those Chili Cook-offs and the jokes that followed about eating too many beans (groan...eye-roll) Yet time marches on and I know somehow we will find a new church home....but it will be "different" and sometimes change is hard. The process is not done without grieving as we move forward to what the future may bring. Change is  hard but can open the door to new possibilities. The Greek philosopher Heraclitus once wisely said "The only thing that is constant is change."

I take heart in looking at the bigger picture about religion in America. We are still a "spiritual" nation, 96% of all Americans are somehow linked or affiliated with some type of religion and/or spirituality. The agnostics (those who admit to being agnostic, at least) number only 2 % and the atheists weighing in at 2%.  That leaves me wondering what the other 96% are thinking and how they pursue and enhance their spiritual life.  Even if they don't choose a specific church and attend services in the traditional Sunday morning gathering venue, people often view themselves as a part of a "community" of faith. People tend to be drawn to the strength and comfort that can be found in being together with like-minded people. Frequently this gathering of people together for support is facilitated within a church. Additionally, most of the churches provide not only comfort and support to their own members, but reach beyond their doors to help both the local community and globally.

What has changed is how we practice or demonstrate  our faith. "Going to church" does not necessarily mean what it used to. It is not necessarily bound by the constraints of the Sunday morning service and certainly the services themselves vary by theological content, music and the whole style of the service.  In this world we live in, bombarded by images, music and information at an alarming pace, it is no wonder churches struggle to keep pace with it all.  The medium may change, but the foundations of the message remain the same.  In his blog on Christianity Today, Karl Vaters talks about how church services have changed so drastically in recent years, but in talking with some of his fellow church goers he brings comfort with the message that "...changes are on the surface. The methods and styles are different but the gospel message is the same. "

This brings me a certain amount of comfort,  but I have always found change to be hard.  And there is something to be said about the joys and comfort found in tradition! Think of  Tevye from Fiddler on the Roof singing about: "Tradition!" I look to the future, I have to, but I find comfort in the traditions of the past when my heart sings: "Blest be the tie that binds, our hearts in Christian love.  The fellowship of kindred minds is like to that above." (Traditional hymn: Blessed be the Tie that Binds)

I do not know what the future will be bring, for today my heart grieves the closing of our little church.  I only wish the best for those who have crossed our threshold and know that whatever path our members may take, they will find comfort knowing that God walks with us on each and every path.

Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.
Psalm 199:105   NIV

Can I like Meghan Trainor and still be a Feminist?

Pop music, looking sexy and feminism: can all those cultural schools of thought be together in the same room and still get along? It's a question I ask myself and it's a question that deserves to considered.

Recently I developed an appreciation for the fun, danceable music of Meghan Trainor. This year she won the Grammy for best new artist. (You go Girl!) Her lyrics and music are upbeat and sassy and I was compelled to buy one of her CDs. Most of her songs are empowering to women with a modern day slant encouraging women to be independent and defiant of societal constraints.  Her "All about the Bass" extols the virtues of positive body images for women: "I ain't no size two....You know I won't be no stick figure, silicone Barbie doll. So if that's what you're into, then go 'head and move along." Love it. Thanks Meghan, it is great having that affirmation because I don't think I have been a size two since I was about 10 years old...if even then.

Meghan Trainor: Dear Future Husband

But, on that same CD she seems to be reverting to a 1950's housewife with "Dear future husband". Perhaps it is a little nostalgic and actually poking fun at stereotypes, but nevertheless sometimes it give me reason to pause. Here's just a snippet of the song:

Dear future husband
Here's a few things you need to know
If you want to be my one and only all my life
(Awwwww)
Take me on a date
I deserve it babe
And don't forget the flowers
Every anniversary
Cause if you treat me right
I'll be the perfect wife
Buyin groceries, buy, buying what you need

Source: http://www.directlyrics.com/meghan-trainor-dear-future-husband-lyrics.html

I know the song is tongue in cheek and meant to be all in fun, but sometimes it stirs up old feelings and the age-old battle of the sexes. Sometimes it is no wonder that men are perplexed on exactly how women want to be treated.  From a woman's viewpoint, I myself am conflicted on relationship issues, but I do know certain things I do expect and hope for. Like equal opportunities for both men and women in the workplace and shared responsibilities on the domestic front. There exists that double standard that women are either sexy or intelligent but they certainly can't be both in the same person.

My first real exposure to the societal outcry to this conflicting standard and feminist ideologies in general was in a college classroom.  I took a class entitled: Feminist Theory and really learned so much from the class, but there was an element that made me quite uncomfortable: I liked Men ( and still do!).  The majority of the women in the class identified themselves as "radical, lesbian feminist".  It was a shame that I almost felt apologetic that I was heterosexual and I had many men that I considered good friends.  Yet this was in the early 1980's and I believe feminism has evolved in leaps and bounds. You can like men and still be a feminist. You can be Gay or Straight and be a feminist. And Yes, you can shave your legs and still be a feminist. Those old ideas of what it means to be a feminist have hopefully disappeared, and the basic belief that men and women should have equal opportunities is the defining factor of a feminist. I guess it saddens me when people categorize the concept of being a feminist and lose sight of the original premise of feminisim in the first place. Kate Nash said it well:

 e husband
Here's a few things you need to know
If you want to be my one and only all my life
(Awwwww)
Take me on a date
I deserve it babe
And don't forget the flowers
Every anniversary
Cause if you treat me right
I'll be the perfect wife
Buyin groceries, buy, buying what you need

Source: http://www.directlyrics.com/meghan-trainor-dear-future-husband-lyrics.html

Happy Tai Chi Day!

Happy Tai Chi Day everyone! Not exactly a Hallmark holiday, but worthy of note. The last Saturday in April has been designated International Tai Chi Day: a day to practice the art and gain a better understanding of this practice originating with the Chinese. I did my part today by attending my Tai Chi class.  I signed up this spring, my first time, and I really enjoy the class. My instructor, Ken, explained that the day was chosen as an international celebration. Today it is celebrated in more than 80 countries. The day was established in 1999 to also educate more people on the health benefits of Tai Chi and raise awareness of the increasing use of traditional Chinese medicine.

 Even though I am still a novice, I know that it really helps in so many aspects: both physically and emotionally.  It helps my coordination, balance and concentration. It looks easy, but just try coordinating your arms and legs to move in the way they are supposed to move in the correct sequence.  It is really a workout for the brain as well. Yet, in addition to a "work-out" for your brain, at the same time it can bring centering, peace and a great sense of well-being.  The visualization techniques that are used with the physical poses are so beneficial in creating the movements. One of my favorite visualizations is; "the Crane spreads his wings..." I am just a middle-aged, fat white lady.....but that visualization really speaks to me and helps me to feel at least a little more graceful.

Tai Chi is graceful and methodical, but sometimes in class it is evident that it stems from the Martial Arts and several defensive movements can be seen in the routines.

I told my son David that when I am in Tai Chi class, it gives me a whole new appreciation for the Kill Bill movie and makes me want to watch the movie again in slow motion to see the detailed movements.  If you're not familiar with Kill Bill, it is a Quentin Tarantino movie, that like many of his movies, has quite a bit of "stylized" violence. Yes, sometimes I have to shut my eyes...a little too violent for me. However the choreography of the Martial Arts sequences are mesmerizing.  Tai Chi itself is a methodical, centering practice that really helps balance & coordination, but since it stems from the Martial Arts, some of the moves are defensive in nature. So sometimes in class, maybe I am not visualizing the "Crane spreading her wings"...but maybe there is just a bit of Uma Thurman in me...look out Lucy Liu!

Many local park programs have Tai Chi classes available. I found mine at the Mundelein Park District:mundeleinparks.org

Scrapbooker's Nirvana

Yes, Nirvana....paradise for a Scrapbooking aficionado: Stamp & Scrapbook Expo. This past weekend I recently attended the expo in Milwaukee, Wisconsin with 3 of my girlfriends.  We had absolutely the BEST time and not only did we have hours to dabble and explore the possibilities of our hobby & craft, but the "girl time" together was priceless.

Perhaps that is one of the reasons scrapbooking and card making/rubber stamping has become so incredibly popular; not only is it oodles of fun but it is also a wonderful activity to share with other women.  Kind of a modern day Quilting Bee. Definitely mostly women I might add. At the show I noticed that an overwhelming amount of the crowd were women.  Any men present were either exhibitors manning the booths or husbands, in tow, looking bedraggled and really not wanting to be there.  The women, on the other hand, were exuberant and thrilled to have all the tools of the trade and new products for their craft all available under one roof.  I knew this type of hobby was big, but I had no idea how "universal" until I went to this Expo. And big it is...the Stamp & Scrapbook Expo. holds expos literally coast to coast. To find one close to you and details on what happens at an expo., here is their web site: scrapbookexpo.com.
     When I first arrived at the expo., I was like a deer in headlights...so much to look at, so incredible to take it all it. Also, classes are offered and an abundance of "make and take" projects are readily available.  Since this was my first expo., I did not sign up for classes.  I just wanted to explore what was available. So I basically shopped and shopped and then shopped a little more. How could one shop for hours like that you say?! Well....when I am scrapbook shopping I am thinking of projects in my mind's eye...virtual scrapbooking, shall we say.  At this expo, almost all the retail prices were very discounted: I would say I got some really good deals. I know prices on this stuff, because I have been doing this for over 20 years.  Actually, I was doing scrapbooking before it was "cool" or before they even called it "scrapbooking". I put together an album of my trip to Paris my senior year in HS and I remember saving ticket stubs and menus to put in amongst the photographs.

     The variety of products were amazing. Here is a photo of just a sampling of the items I picked out.  The die-cuts were really detailed and the quality really stood out-not the kind of thing you can just find anywhere. My friends that went with me were focused more on card making, rubber stamps and paper crafting, but nevertheless the techniques used in those crafts overlap with many of the scrapbooking techniques....so as it turns out, we were all delighted. I am so glad that I went and I would go to another;if and when the opportunity arises. I highly recommend attending an expo for any crafter who pursues scrapping or stamping! A fantastic and joyful Girls Day Out!     Keep Scrapping!

What on Earth did we do before Facebook?

This is not a slam against Facebook, although maybe it should be. I am a willing participant in the world of Facebook (FB) and usually partake in it on a daily basis.

Yet like most things in life, I feel it can be a mixed blessing and I think it's important to assess how we spend our time. Betty White, a delightful and funny actress, made the comment:

Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/facebook.html

I didn't know what Facebook was, and now that I do know what it is, I have to say, it sounds like a huge waste of time. Betty White
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/facebook.html

I didn't know what Facebook was, and now that I do know what it is, I have to say, it sounds like a huge waste of time. Betty White
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/b/betty_white.html

" I didn't know what Facebook was, and now that I do know what it is, I have to say, it sounds like a huge waste of time."  Even though she is from an older generation I have always considered her in touch with what's current and her comment is both funny and eye-opening at the same time.  It can be a waste of time, but like many behaviors that start out fun can lead to addiction if used in excess. Yes, I am using the word "addiction" to drive my point home.  Granted, the seriousness of extensive FB use pales in comparison to alcoholism or drug use, however it's over use can still cause problems and really be an incredible "time suck" taking away a person's more productive use of time. I am not advocating getting rid of FB entirely....if you enjoy it, which I do, by all means spend a little time enjoying funny cat videos and amazing demos of recipes.  I am trying to encourage both myself and others not to get "sucked into" hours of back and forth time on FB.  My message here is to encourage the use of FB as dessert. Perhaps it should be an activity that you do once all your other work is done.  As a writer and blogger, it is much too easy for me to slip "over" to FB and never make it back to the work at hand.

       I was prompted to write this while I am in the midst of reading: Eat that Frog  21 Great ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time by Brian Tracy.  Great book with many pointers about organizational skills and time management. The title is intriguing and has a way of really getting your attention and helping you to remember the author's point.

Mark Twain once said that if you eat a live frog first thing in the morning, than you'll know it's the worst thing you'll have to do all day.

Iowa Roadways: an Uncommon sight on a Common Journey

The simplest routine journey can sometimes bring unexpected delights.  One just has to keep their eyes open for sudden, and very often pleasant, changes in the routine.
I have traveled back and forth on Iowa I-80 from Illinois to Des Moines many times for (dare I say...) about 30 years. My family and I have a tendency to stop at the same places, same foods and same rest stops.  There is something to be said about the comfort of routine and knowing what to expect for your accommodations, yet thinking outside the box can sometimes bring new experiences in an otherwise routine journey.

"It has Iowa written all over it"

  On my last trip from Des Moines, after visiting my Mom, my husband & I stopped not too far from Iowa City at a rest stop near Tiffin Iowa. The rest stop was quite nice, as far as rest stops go...and was renovated to reflect a "writing" theme.  First on the sidewalk by the entrance is a giant fountain pen.  Inside, are stories about famous writers that are in one way or another are affiliated with Iowa. Also included are interesting and famous quotes about writing and living in Iowa-both topics of which I have experienced first hand. Quaint little details I found everywhere including a stone-relief picture of a type-writer (circa 1975) made to look "ancient". Funny how the presentation of an image can give it the essence of an antique!

The Blogging Life: New Adventures....

Happy Anniversary to me as I celebrate 1 year as my life as a Blogger.  It has been a wonderful journey and has opened new doors for me. Not only have I learned a great deal, my attitudes & expectations about blogging and writing in general have changed. The change of attitude necessitates  that I change my plan for "business as usual". I want to revise the way I write and the way I present it through blogging.

Journaling....so many venues, so little time.

Never underestimate the power of Journaling.  It can be comforting, a problem-solver,  a documentation of important events. My whole premise in writing about writing, is because I feel the importance of lifting up the life changing benefits of practicing the art of Journaling.  It is amazing how beneficial it can be to take the time to sit down and record your thoughts; sometimes it provides much needed clarification. Plus it is cheaper and sometimes more effective than an analyst, or in my case...when my girlfriends are not readily accessible to talk to at the moment. Sometimes I go back and read about things that really concerned me at the time of the writing, and then in hindsight things did not turn out to be so troublesome.  It is truly a relief to look back and think why was I so worried at the time?

1916~2016: Centennial Celebration for the National Park Service

When you look at all the magnificent beauty within America's National Parks, it is very easy to have a sense of civic pride, especially this year as we celebrate the Centennial founding of the National Park System.  If you have not visited a National Park lately, 2016 may be a fantastic year to plan a trip to one as we commemorate the founding of the National Park Service.  There are currently 59 National Parks and over 117 protected areas that are designated national monuments. 

Grand Tetons National Park~Wyoming

     Teddy Roosevelt is remembered as instrumental in generating an interest in preserving and cherishing the natural beauty of the lands found in our country. He was one of the most visible advocates of the establishing and preserving of the Parks: often remembered as the "conservation president".  He loved the great outdoors and began several steps to insure the preservation of our nation's natural landmarks.  The passage of the 1906 Antiquities Act enabled Roosevelt and future presidents to proclaim certain sites and landmarks historical and/or scientific and worthy of preservation.

The New Year: A Kinder, Gentler Resolution

Approaching the end of the calendar year, many people, myself included, look to the new year with hopes and a clean slate to live life afresh and anew.  It is exciting to look to the new year with inspirations for new possibilities and the hopes of being the very best people we can be.  Resolutions generally revolve around health habits: "I've got to lose weight."  "I need to  exercise more." "I must  quit smoking." The list goes on.  I don't deny the importance of healthy habits as these but sometimes the importance of our mental health can be overshadowed by the determination of  fulfilling resolutions exclusively about our physical well-being.  Let's not forget the importance of our mental well-being.  The mental and the physical go hand in hand, but sometimes that is forgotten.  Sometimes we forget to take good care of our psychological self: to be gentle with ourselves.  Frequently we are our own worst critic, when it is beneficial to remember that we can be our own best friend.

Get Your "Back to Nature" Fix!~Visit a close by State Park

Depending on where you live in this great Nation of ours, you may or may not be relatively close to one of our beautiful National Parks.  Fear not, the State parks hold many wonderful treasures that frequently mirror the beauty and splendor of their "big Brother" National Parks.  Sometimes state parks are overlooked as a travel destination, but not only are they more readily accessible they frequently deliver a fantastic travel experience and if you are within your own state...a sense of civic pride surfaces enjoying what wonders are found in your very own Homeland. It's amazing to think that in the United States, there are over 7,000 state parks.  In my home state alone, Illinois, there are sixty. Now that's quite a few parks to choose from.

The "Process Art" in Scrapbooking

I bet every Scrapbooker out there occasionally experiences this feeling: there is a good chance that the bulk of their finished product will go unnoticed, not shared with others and literally collect dust on the shelf. Trust me, I have felt this way many times and can't help but wonder if some of the albums that I spent hours creating won't really be looked at until after I am 6 feet under.  Sounds a bit macabre I know, and I am not trying to feel sorry for myself, just realistic.
So after all these years, why do I continue to Scrapbook? Simply put: I enjoy it...the whole process as much as the end result.

Creativity inspired: Tools of the Trade

I