Finding Your Voice

 

When I was a young girl, perhaps in my early teens, my Mom, sister & I made several cross country road trips from Iowa to upstate NY to visit family. I fondly recall one summer when my Mom decided it might be prudent to get a CB radio, for safety reasons if we were on the road and had car trouble. It was the responsible thing to do, yet in the eyes of a teenager girl it was delightful fun to chat with the truckers and just about anybody else I was able to strike up a conversation with up and down the dial. Remember this was before the days of cell phones and before the days of social media. I found it great fun and so did most of the truckers...most of them.  It was all well and good until one of the truckers decided my "handle" should be "ratchet jaw".  In hind sight, it was funny, but at the same time hurtful.  It was one of those moments that you remember years later. It was one of the first times in my life I had been criticized for talking too much.  It also came to be the first of many times. Yet, many of us have traits...parts of our personality that are ingrained in us.  Sometimes it becomes kind of a self fulfilled prophecy.  When someone tells you that you are a certain way...then you start to see yourself that way.  Yes, sometimes I talk a lot, perhaps too much. When those moments arise that I am reprimanded for talking too much, I instinctively back down, for awhile anyway.  Then my need to be heard resurfaces and I feel the need to speak and be heard.

So talking easily with just about anyone is not necessarily a bad thing. I have been told I possess the "Gift of Gab".  It comes in handy for a whole bevy of social situations to help break the ice and sometimes put more people at ease. Yet, learning how to measure your words before you speak is an important skill to have.  It reminds me of the old adage: "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt." This quote is sometimes attributed to Abraham Lincoln, although the actual origin has been debated.  Nevertheless, when I hear it, it sometimes causes me to think twice before making comments.  Especially on a topic I have limited knowledge on.  Tis better to listen and learn in those circumstances.

So frequently I remind myself of another adage: God gave us two ears and one mouth so we should listen twice as much as we talk.  Good point.  Nevertheless when I look at this image of a woman (circa 1950's) being a good girl and reminding either herself  or someone close by to "Shush"...the feminist in me rises and  I want to cry out until my voice is heard. Why is it that silence is sometimes equivalent to complacency?   Not always the case, yet being silent sometimes comes at a cost.

I guess we all need to feel that we are being heard and finding our voice with respect to how we communicate.  Many times it is not merely verbal, but our voice can be carried and displayed in a multitude of ways: music, art and in my case: writing. 

I have compared this blog sometimes to a journal...it feels so good to be able to express myself, to have my voice heard.  Yet someone (I'm not saying who...) said to me: ..."If it's like a journal than why should you care if anybody reads it or not?"  OUCH. Theoretically, maybe I shouldn't care if anybody reads it or not.  But it comes full circle as to why I write...it is a way of finding my voice.  So if no one listens to my "voice" why should I write? Good question. Why does an artist paint? Why does a dancer dance? I write because that is who I am.  Nevertheless, it would be nice to know someone is "listening".  Lately I have grappled with new ideas on how to reach my audience. As a writer and blogger it is sometimes sad to think that when you hit the "Publish" button your work has now gone to cyberspace, possibly never to be viewed except by your own eyes.  Yes, this is a bit dramatic, but sometimes it feels that way. Yet I just continue to write because it is one of the ways I have found my own voice. I have a favorite quote on my bulletin board: Real writers don't write because they can write, they write because they can't NOT write.  Let that sink in.  Therein lies the true nature of the beast.

Here's another food for thought...it's pretty evident to me why social media has become such a pervasive, sometimes even invasive, part of our lives.  People just want to be heard. Like so many ways of communication, there are pros and cons to discussions on social media. In it's early days, Facebook was merely a simple way to keep in touch and share photos, but it has morphed into something much more complicated...in good ways and sometimes NOT so good. Nevertheless, it does still allow dialogue.

So many times I think about communication and how it has changed just in the last few years. Not surprising that this would be a favorite topic of mine because my degree is in Journalism and Mass Communication. Both of those terms: journalism and mass communication encompass entirely different things now from when I graduated college.  It's mind boggling to think how we communicate has changed.  On a personal level, I think it is sad that so many local newspapers have disappeared.  Perhaps technology has replaced them with other ways of connecting with your community, but sometimes I still think there is a void in that respect.  Having connections relevant to your geographic area helps to create a stronger, closely knit community. It brings a sense of identity that only a local paper or local TV station can bring. The town I am currently living in had a local paper that closed down just a few years before I got here. Sad. Maybe I would have enjoyed working with them.  If when I graduated, I had been told you will operate 2 blogs, (what's a blog?)

self-publish 4 books and communicate with your family and friends across the country just by typing a note on your computer (Thanks Facebook).....well at that time I just would not have fathomed it. Not sure what the future will bring as we seek to Find our voice.

So Gentle Readers....I encourage you to Find Your Voice in whatever format is best suited to you.  Find your voice and let you voice be heard.  Julie Etta Smith