Not Folk Tales, but rather Faith

 There's an age old saying that when a Cardinal comes to visit you, it's a departed loved one coming to reassure you and a signal that they are at peace.  I always thought this was a lovely comfort to those that are grieving, but in the back of my mind it felt like mourners "grasping at straws" to find somewhere to get comfort during the grieving process.  Well, I now feel a little differently because I can now say: "It happened to me" and became a demonstration of my faith at a time when I really needed it. 

 After my Mom's Memorial service, my husband and I were leaving the hotel we were staying at and putting our bags in the trunk.  The sun was shining, and the birds were chirping away as we made our way to the van. My husband looked at a nearby tree and said," Oh Look, Julie....a Cardinal." I gazed up and saw a tree filled with at least a dozen black birds and one lone Cardinal. I immediately thought of the "when a recently departed loved one comes to visit" story.  It was surreal but in a strange way comforting to me. The tears started to flow, and I looked up and said, "Hi Mom." I knew I had to regain my composure, so I could drive. By the time I wiped my tears and collected myself, I looked up and all the branches were bare. 

Thinking pragmatically, even if you don't believe that a Cardinal is literally the spirit of a loved one it gives me comfort in knowing that, and believing that, the Holy Spirit is at work here.  Sometimes things that happen in our lives just can't be explained away and categorized as coincidence. Matters of faith and matters of the heart are well....just that: taken by faith.

My faith has renewed my spirit and helped me through many things in my life.  Most recently, it has helped and is continuing to provide comfort for the grieving process. Many Bible verses address GRIEF, but this is one of my favorites that encourages hope for tomorrow:

"Weeping may remain for a night, but joy comes in the morning" Psalms 30:5

This simple verse says to me that weeping and grief are indeed part of the process, but there is hope for tomorrow.

Those of us that are left behind when our loved ones pass, take comfort in knowing that the memory of them is still with us, always a part of us.  The following poem was read at my Mom's service and helps us to find comfort in the fact that YES, we will remember:

‘We Remember Them’ by Sylvan Kamens & Rabbi Jack Riemer

At the rising sun and at its going down; We remember them.
At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter; We remember them.
At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring; We remember them.
At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer; We remember them.
At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of the autumn; We remember them.
At the beginning of the year and when it ends; We remember them.
As long as we live, they too will live, for they are now a part of us as We remember them.

When we are weary and in need of strength; We remember them.
When we are lost and sick at heart; We remember them.
When we have decisions that are difficult to make; We remember them.
When we have joy we crave to share; We remember them.
When we have achievements that are based on theirs; We remember them.
For as long as we live, they too will live, for they are now a part of us as, We remember them.

It's a wonderful reminder that time marches on, but we can still remember our loved ones and they continue to be a part of our lives. Good choice of poems, Mom.

So when you see a Cardinal, no matter what the circumstance, I hope you find JOY in the beauty of seeing it. Take a few moments to think of someone you have loved and lost. 

 

 

Call Me a Cab

 Call me a Cab.....Cabernet , that is. What a delightful little pun that I recently ran across when planning an upcoming trip to Door County, Wisconsin. This terrific little pun is on a label of wine found at Heather Ridge Winery in Door County. I almost always like Cabernet Sauvignon, so it's a sure bet that Hubby and I will make a stop there.  Yeah, you can call it just creative marketing.... but it works on me anyway. I'm still laughing about it. (and writing about it!) And it makes me want to go check it out. I won't be a bit surprised if I bring home a bottle.

It made me realize that not only do (some) wine drinkers, and vintners, have a great sense of humor, maybe after a glass or two, but there is a whole culture around the hobby of wine drinking.  I love a good glass of wine not only for the taste, but also for the amazing sense of calm it brings to me.

When I began drinking wine, illegally as a teenager....I would partake in the varietals of Boone's Farm wine. Remember Boone's Farm?! Egad! They produced Boone's Farm Apple then when they came out with Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill we thought we were in 7th Heaven. It was sweet and basically tasted like pop, but we got drunk. And I guess basically that was the goal. Good Times.

Yet, all of our tastes change when we get older, thank goodness.  I am not trying to sound like a "wine snob".... on the contrary.  I have reached the point where I enjoy wine for the taste and fully realize that everyone has different tastes.  Drink what makes you happy. For me it is the drier reds and the crisp whites like Pinot Grigio.  Yet, whatever your preference, one thing that brings all wine drinkers together is the paraphernalia surrounding the hobby. Fancy glasses, funny kitchen wall plaques, ornate bottle stoppers....well, you get the idea.... the list goes on and on.  I have a nice collection of glasses, but am always on the look-out for an additional "souvenir" one.

Whenever I visit a winery, the sampling of the wine itself of course is the highlight. Yet, seeing all the "stuff" in the gift shop is a bonus and even if I don't buy anything it is so entertaining to read the t-shirts and funny little kichen towels.  So here are a couple of examples from my own collection when I succumbed to the laughter that it brought me. Yet, I don't regret buying them, they still makes me laugh. 

Returning to my original premise in this post, the fun with the labels almost always catches the eye of the consumer. If you buy a good wine, and the label is catchy, you are almost sure to find it again in the future.  I bought a wine once just because it had a lighthouse on it, shallow I know...but it turned out to be very tasty and now I can just look for the lighthouse. Nifty.  If the label has a "story" behind it and evokes memories for you....all the better to cement it in your mind as a great wine.  And of course, the bringing to mind a great story is always a bonus. The example I am thinking of is Casillero Del Diablo. Wonderful wines from Chile! My Spanish is not so great, I originally thought it meant "Castle of the Devil", I was close but not quite. I worked with a gal that spoke Spanish (I miss working with Jessica, she was so much fun!) and she clarified that it means "Locker of the Devil". So keep the "devil" locked up. Well, come to find out there is a very interesting legend about this. From the wine maker's web site:

"As the story goes, more than a hundred years ago the founder of our winery, Don Melchor Concha y Toro, hid a prized collection of wines in his personal cellar protected behind a wrought iron gate. However, over time he began to notice that bottles would strangely disappear. It seemed his secret cellar was no longer so secret, and that the townspeople, having heard of his exquisite wines, couldn't resist tasting them for themselves.

Needing a new way to safeguard his treasure, Don Melchor turned to local folklore. Knowing that superstitions and otherworldly phenomena were feared by the local people, he spread the rumor of strange nighttime events that could only be explained by a simple fact: that the devil inhabited his cellar. Fueled by the locals’ imagination, each sound in the cellar—every echo, shadow, and shape—gave weight to the story."

Wow, what an intriguing story...to this day, they still have a little emblem of a devil on the label. There always seems to be stories behind your favorite wine.  With a little bit of digging you can find them and remember:

     "WINE! Because no Great Story ever started with someone eating a salad."

                                                   Cheers!

Julie E. Smith

Does Grief burn calories?

Painting by Jill Battaglia

 I am exhausted all the time...I can't help but wonder: does Grief burn calories? I certainly hope so. I woke up this morning with the intention of going to the gym, trying to get my life back to normal...I am exhausted all time. I sleep and I still wake up exhausted. I am doing all the things I am "supposed" to do: eating healthy, trying to sleep, limiting my alcohol and I just can't seem to fit in EXERCISE. This too shall pass, I know my grief is young and I have to work through it. In the mean time I am trying to take care of myself.  So here I am doing the thing that brings me peace...writing. Ironically, the day I decided to provide myself some self-therapy by writing, is exactly one month to the day that my Mom died peacefully...on Christmas Day.  There are mountains of paperwork on my desk with tasks that I need to take care of, but just for a few hours today I will sit and write. Mom would have liked that...she knew how much writing means to me. She read all my blogs and articles. Now that she is gone, I frequently wonder if anyone at all, other than myself, will read the words on this paper.  Nevertheless, it is good therapy and cheaper than drugs. (Albeit just as addictive)

I woke up this morning, sore and stiff. Yesterday, I had shoveled a light snowfall off the driveway (Hubby did the other half), light housework and some work on organizing Mom's memorial service. Nothing too taxing...so why am I so exhausted? The clincher was when I woke up to see that it was 13 degrees below zero, no gym for this gal today. Call me a wimp, but I am going to do the thing that makes me feel great...writing. I have so many other things that I should be doing, but writing helps give me clarity and focus, not to mention keeping my mental health intact. Keeping my sanity is tantamount to burning calories and losing that pesky weight I have been trying to get off for about the last 10 years.  If I completely lose my mind, would it really matter if my jeans fit too tight?

          I understand that grief comes in stages and it ebbs and flows just like waves on the ocean.  Just when I think I have myself together, the tiniest little thing, seemingly insignificant memory will make me spiral into sadness and tears. It reminds me of this poem that I came across that really has helped me make sense of at least part of the process of grieving:

          “You Don’t Just Lose Someone Once”  by Donna Ashworth

 You lose them over and over,

sometimes many times a day.

When the loss, momentarily forgotten,

creeps up,

and attacks you from behind.

Fresh waves of grief as the realization hits home,

they are gone.

You don’t just lose someone once,

you lose them every time you open your eyes to a new dawn,

and as you awaken, so does your memory,

so does the jolting bolt of lightning that rips into your heart,

they are gone.

Again.

Losing someone is a journey,

not a one-off.

There is no end to the loss,

there is only a learned skill on how to stay afloat,

when it washes over.

Be kind to those who are sailing this stormy sea,

they have a journey ahead of them,

and a daily shock to the system each time they realize,

they are gone,

 Again.

You don’t just lose someone once,

you lose them every day,

for a lifetime.

Be mindful of your ADL's

Recently, when I take a rejuvenating hot shower, take a walk in the park or enjoy a bowl of Cheerios with fresh strawberries I count my simple pleasures like these and am mindful that my ADL's are going strong and I have the ability to do them. What are ADL's? The term ADL stands for Activities of Daily Living and is a term used by medical and health care providers  to access an individual's capacity to perform these tasks on their own. Basic daily self care routines include:

• Personal Hygiene
• Feeding
• Dressing
• Toileting
• Transferring (The ability to change positions and walk independently)  

Now all these tasks, we frequently take for granted and I am here to say: Please don't take them for granted. I have become familiar with such terminology in recent months while working to secure care for my mother. Many of the simplest routines that we take for granted, become increasingly more difficult as we age. It also has been very difficult to see the changes in my Mom in both her physical and cognitive functions.  She is doing incredibly well for a 94 year old, but the last 6 months have been rough. She is struggling with short term memory loss and sometimes it is so hard to repeat things to her over and over again. But I do, because I love her and she's my Mom. In dealing with this situation, it's always good to keep a sense of humor.  Even the Mayo Clinic has come out with studies that reveal the healing benefits of laughter. So many of the stories I could tell about laughter with my Mom are really just one of those "you had to be there", but it's good advice as a caregiver to find a little humor in every day. 

I always envisioned a "caregiver" as an individual who is physically present and providing meals, bathing and attending to all the ADL's. Even though my Mom is living 300+ miles away, it has been easier for me to cope with situations when I became willing to call myself a caregiver. No, I am not there directly assisting with all the "ADL's", but we talk every day and my sister (who lives even further away) is also very active in her care.  My sister and I have been working together as a team to assure that all her needs will be met.  My Mom did an awesome job of raising her girls, so my sister and I are working very hard to assure that her "golden years" will truly be golden for her.  Mrs. Carter had it right when she said: "There are only four kinds of people in the world-those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers and those who will need caregivers. " Rosalynn Carter

Some of these life transitions that we are experiencing now with our family have been really rough...really rough and emotionally exhausting for me.  Yet, trying to be the eternal optimist that I am, I have to admit that the process has been very eye opening and a learning experience for me. Several trips to the library have yielded much research on dementia and the best ways of helping my Mom.  It truly helps me to appreciate what I have every day and remembering to also keep gratitude in my heart.  After coming across this poem....I just sat and cried. Yet, cleansing tears are also beneficial.

So I dry my tears and pray for Clarity and Patience to face whatever the day may bring. I find joy every day in the Activities of Daily Living and I hope you, gentle reader can do the same.

Julie Etta Smith

"A Walk in the Park...Journeys through our Nation's Greatest Treasures" A book profile

 As I am taking several different pathways for marketing my recent book, I wanted to provide an overview of it that is easily accessible to be viewed by prospective vendors. I want to provide more information about the book, than what is currently available on the Amazon/KDP site.  The book was self-published by Kindle Direct Publishing and can be found on Amazon by typing in the complete title:

"A Walk in the Park...Journeys through our Nation's Greatest Treasures."   Julie E. Smith

The book was conceived, in 2016, during the Centennial celebration of the National Park Service. My love of travel and the beauty of our National Parks encouraged me during this time period to pursue visiting many parks on my bucket list. I visited as many as time and finances would allow. I have been to many of the major parks but also a few of the lesser known parks.  I did not know, at the start of my explorations, that there is a beautiful National Park in Ohio: Cuyahoga Valley National Park. Check out Chapter 13! 

Along the way I have learned so much about the intriguing history of the National Park Service and what makes our system in America so unique. The contributions of men such as Theodore Roosevelt and John Muir were instrumental in preserving the legacy of our Parks. 

This book is not meant to be a guidebook of each and every site, but rather an overview with many helpful travel hints on how best to appreciate our National Parks and Sites. I hope it provides an inspiration and invitation to explore.    Julie E. Smith

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Sympathy for the Devil

 Sympathy for the Devil....totally one of my favorite Stones songs, but also very apropos when I think about current attitudes about Amazon.  In many circles, in addition to the literary world,  Amazon has been perceived as the devil: slowly eroding away at the fabric of many of our institutions. There are so many love/ hate relationships with this company and there is a whole bevy of topics about this company including employee treatment, putting small companies out of business...and the list goes on and on.  However, I want to focus my discussion on the role they have played in the publishing industry. 

I was prompted to write this blog after an eye-opening conversation with an independent bookseller whom I was hoping to sell my book in her store. I am much too polite to name the bookstore and publicly take out my frustration: I feel no ill will towards independent booksellers- I wish them success.  Yet, after my conversation with her & research on attitudes of other (actually almost ALL independent booksellers) about Amazon/Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP) I experienced a whole bevy of emotions starting with an overwhelming feeling of failure. Then my sadness turned to confusion and finally I ended up MAD. Why should I be penalized as an author just because I chose the publishing company that worked best for my needs?  Does that diminish in any way the content or quality of my book? I absolutely hate being sucked into the political world of publishing...but lo and behold here I am.

 The woman I spoke with was very open to my book and gave me a sheet of instructions on how to submit my book for being sold in her store. I perused the sheet and when I saw the note about "We do not accept books published by any of the Amazon imprints, including Create Space."  Well, right then my heart sank and instead of just turning and walking out in a huff....I spoke with her and really tried to understand. I did tell her that I respect their position, but as an author I feel I am being penalized just because of my choice of publisher. 

After leaving the store, with my dignity still in tact...I was proud of myself that I did not burst in to tears or start hurling heavy books through their plate glass window. I do honestly empathize for the small independent booksellers and they understandably have a right to feel that Amazon is the big, bad Capitalist Pig preying on those that are just trying to earn a living. I can see both sides of it, but we live in a capitalist country where competition is stiff. Seems to me that many small booksellers have modified their business model to appeal to a local marketplace, and some have been wonderfully successful. I know I am not in the shoes of a book store owner: I am sure they have many war stories to tell.  I am just speaking on behalf of the unsung heroes of the literary world: The Authors.

If you are old enough to be part of American consumerism in the 1990's you will remember when Amazon got started in on-line marketing. Before they starting hocking clothing, household supplies, pet supplies and everything else under the sun, their primary focus was on....You guessed it: books. Amazon was founded in 1994 and I guess their success  just snowballed from there.  In 2000, they founded the publishing company: Create Space. My first 2 books were with Create Space which later changed to KDP. Sometimes it just feels better to go with what you know, so I did not switch publishers. At the time I had no reason to. (Maybe I still don't)

It's interesting to note that as of the writing of this blog, there are currently 2,827 American publishing houses.  The number of self-publishing companies is approximately a mere 30, a small number when compared to the traditional route of publishing but nevertheless when you are trying to boil it down to one company to use for publishing your book...the task can seem monumental.  Yet, my shock at not being able to market my book in small bookstores makes me ponder if I should switch publishers with my next book? Sometimes I wonder if I would feel "forced" to switch; this was the third book I published via Amazon/Kindle Direct Publishing (Formerly KDP was called Create Space) and I was very pleased with how all of the books looked upon completion.  Additionally, I truly appreciate the concept of POD (Print on Demand) so as a novice author I don't have to stock pile huge amounts of books which would also entail a sizable cash outlay. I haven't sold massive amounts of books, but that is not why I write. I write because I love the art of writing. So...if you are interested in my latest book about the National Park Service...you won't find it in a local bookstore, only Amazon:

 

 

And here's the link: Amazon.com : a walk in the park...journeys through our greatest treasures                                                                    

As always my readers...thank you for listening and I always welcome feedback. Julie E. Smith

Are you a Joiner?

 I recently attended the meeting of a local quilt guild and it was such a delight to be in the company of these women that all share the same passion of quilt making and related projects. When I am in the company of very talented quilters I usually am intimidated by their amazing talents, but then I realize we all have to start somewhere.  I remember the wisdom of the advice by Warren Buffett:

"It’s better to hang out with people better than you. Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours and you’ll drift in that direction.”   I doubt Mr. Buffett was discussing quilt circles at the time, however...the same principle applies.  We can always learn and improve ourselves when we surround ourselves with those we can learn from. I will probably join this group with not only the hope of improving my quilting skills, but to also forge new friendships with people in my community. It's a win- win situation.

Yup...I'm a joiner...as are many of my fellow human beings are.  The significance of this has really become evident as we still are seeking ways to connect with each other in the era of COVID. It is so refreshing to meet face to face beyond the realm of "Zoom land". 

So I was thinking today about all the different groups I belong to and how our group affiliation changes throughout our lifetime.  Currently I belong to a church, a women's Bible Study at another church, a craft group, two writer's groups, two National Parks organizations and soon to be a member of a quilting guild.  Then I could also mention several on-line groups with my targeted interests and geographic location. The Facebook group for my town has proved to be a very valuable tool for finding everything from which restaurant to choose to the best mechanic. So my predisposition of joining groups fits in with my extroverted personality.  So there are those that would prefer to keep to themselves.  This reminds me of this clever meme that really brought a chuckle to me while coping through the COVID isolation:

So what groups do you belong to and how have they impacted and changed your life?  It's kind of fun to think about and it's also a specific way to define your interests and count your blessings. Sometimes when we stop to think about the characteristics of our personality and interests it helps to provide goals and a framework on how we can improve our participation with those groups. 

Our group affiliations definitely change over our lifetime. Probably the first group I joined (that I can remember)was the Girl Scouts. I hold so many fond memories of camping, great songs and believe it or not...I do remember the work and skills I learned working on various merit badges. 

Fast forward to college days: my freshman year I joined a social sorority. I have to confess I originally pursued joining a sorority not so much for the camaraderie and the social aspects, but I wanted a nicer place to live than the dorms.  I had heard many stories about dorm living and I wanted a better (and er...cleaner..) place to live while I pursued my degree.  Although, in hind sight it was a great decision and many of the friendships I forged at my sorority: Alpha Chi Omega have endured. I will be an Alpha Chi for life and I was pleasantly surprised that it became so much more than just a place to live. To this day, I am still in touch with several of my sorority sisters.

Also, during my college days I joined the Society of Professional Journalists, Sigma Delta Chi. At the time it was awesome and wonderful training for a career in journalism. I also went to their convention in Washington, D.C. and was truly inspired to plunge into work as a journalist. Well, the path of life takes many turns and I ended up not pursuing a "traditional" role as a journalist. So this is one group membership that I let lapse, however I don't regret my experiences with them.

So life milestones and stages of our life can be marked by the groups to which we belong.  One of the biggest shocks for me, feeling like a splash of cold water in my face, was the letter I received stating I was eligible to join AARP.  For all you youngsters out there that don't have to even think about this...it stands for the American Association of Retired Persons.  Now I needed to rationalize this with the simple thought the requirement for membership in AARP is only 50.  Most people don't actual retire until age 65. Still....it made me feel OLD.  Nevertheless, I am not knocking AARP. They do great things to help "older" people and I really enjoy the monthly magazine.

I have learned so much from the variety of groups that I have had the pleasure of calling myself a member. My hope is that I can give back and enhance the group in some small way. And how can I forget support groups, they are an important facet to help us with some of the difficulties that life might throw our way. I wanted to end this blog with this great cartoon about support groups. Brought a smile to my day:

Drop the Knife

It's always great to start a tough topic with humor. Humor really is the best medicine. So when discussing anger management, I enjoyed this cartoon with Helda and her troubles...good thing she is in a support group. 

 Sometimes anger and frustration can do nothing more than inflict pain upon yourself and not the intended target and/or source of your anger. I was thinking about this topic lately and this brought to my mind a blog I wrote several years ago about the frustration of being Ignored. The blog specifically addressed the frustration of not hearing back from editors about the publishing of articles I had submitted and being "ignored". In the article I had drawn a parallel from the movie Fatal Attraction.  In the film, Michael Douglas has a happy life with a successful career and a lovely wife until things get complicated when he has a steamy affair with Glenn Close.  Douglas wants the fling to be just a fling and tries to sever the relationship, but Close will hear nothing of that. She wants him all to herself and begins stalking him and his family with the intention of getting what she wants. It's an unsettling movie that really reflects the darker side of obsessive behaviors and the creepier side of "love gone wrong".  

 An image in that movie keeps coming back to me when I obsess a little too much about communications with people.  In the movie, Glenn Close is getting deeper and deeper into her obsession and doing nastier things then just calling and hanging up.  The specific scene that comes to mind is Close approaching Douglas with a knife in hand. Her argument with him comes to a boiling point and she declares: "I'm  NOT going to be ignored!", while at the same time psychotically digging the knife repeatedly into her own leg while walking towards him. Yikes, I know....pretty gruesome, but it does get your attention and it got his attention.

Now I would not take a knife to my leg in frustration from being ignored, but sometimes my frustration from not hearing back from people or getting a response that is not what I expected....well...it makes me go a little bit crazy. 

Yet this inward turning anger and resentment has applied to other aspects of my life besides just being frustrated with editors and my writing life. With some of the stresses I have experienced in my life lately: most notably helping my Mom to transition to an assisted living apartment, my frustration that has turned inward only seems to hurt myself.   Holding on to anger or frustration, as opposed to honest discussions does not really help any situation, except it only hurts yourself. Just like the insightful Buddhist quote here, such anger usually doesn't accomplish what we anticipate it will.

  Also like the Fatal Attraction example, in frustration and bitter resentment I am only hurting myself so I am learning to Drop the Knife. I am learning that. Also sometimes it is good to be ignored...you can find peace. Some personalities, myself included, crave attention and of course I prefer good attention; positive reinforcement.  But when the attention is negative...well..that kind of attention is not so widely welcomed. There is a certain level of life experiences that have brought me to the understanding that to be ignored is sometimes a GOOD thing.  It can bring you a certain sense of peace and frankly exempt you from some of life's unpleasant circumstances.

When I am stressed, feeling resentment or anger, I do pray for clarity and peace. I collected a few of my "anger management" verses from the Bible in helping me in this endeavor. Here are a few of my favorites:

James 1:19-21  Know this, my beloved brothers: Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

 Proverbs 14:29  He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalts folly.

Proverbs 29:11 Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. 

This last one is my favorite. There is no denying that we get angry and have resentment, we are only human. Yet working to not give "full vent" to our rage and striving for calm almost always brings a better solution. So I am working on many things in my life to "Drop the Knife" and in doing so, finding a better sense of CALM.

Writer's Block?

 I write all the time...I journal all the time...the concept of "Writers Block" for me is somewhat of a fallacy, Yet, the concept for me plays out in a different way: I agonize that what I am writing will be interesting for someone else to read. THAT is my writers block and that is what sometimes causes me to just not write. It also has occurred to me that does it really matter? I find enjoyment in writing so that is why I continue to do it. And I continue to collect interesting memes about writer's block. I'm living it and can relate....

So I look at the blinking cursor that is taunting me, daring me to compose something of great significance or value.  Yet, I do find comfort and humor in my collection of memes on the topic. *Sigh* Perhaps my next blog will be profound, but for the moment I am enjoying the "down time". Until we meet again, here is one more meme. Calvin and Hobbes was always my favorite. 

Don't Burn Your Bridges

 I have always had an affinity...perhaps a love/hate relationship with bridges.  Some are so majestic and marvels of engineering, yet some scare the bejeezus out of me when my fear of heights kicks in. Now I am talking both literal bridges and how bridges are used as idioms. The expression "Don't Burn Your Bridges" often can be good advice. Conversely, I recently heard a new take on that as quoted by Don Henley: "Sometimes you get the best light from a burning bridge".   As much as I love the Eagles, if Don Henley said it, then it is poetic and certainly profound.  In my current situation, (especially with some of my writing and blogging forays) the light generated from burning some bridges of my past will certainly light the way for new opportunities. I want to take a can of gasoline, douse the bridge, light a match and let 'er rip. Figuratively speaking of course.

    So what's all the hoopla about? I originally wanted to do a blog about all the cool bridges I have seen in my travels and was planning on placing it on my "travel" features blog. Ah....the plans of mice and men. I have had several troubles with my Word Press blog (american trekkerblog) for I would say at least the last year or so. Well, the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back was I was told by their customer service that I could no longer utilize the editing program I have used for the past 5 years. I was now FORCED to use their new program or be in danger of "corrupting" the existing documents/posts that are stored on my site. Now don't tell me you can't teach an old dog new tricks....I TRIED the new system and hated it, however I did at least try it. So....within one more month I am saying goodbye to Word Press. 

Of course FIRST I am making sure I have my own digital copies of each and every document that I produced. It has been an interesting journey and I have learned very much about blogging, formatting and just writing in general, and for that I am thankful. Yet I have also had hours of frustration and it's interesting to note that I did not have those problems with my other "blogger" blog (operated by Google). 

     So now I have made the decision to be a one blog gal. No matter what the topic, it will be posted on julieetta1982.blogspot.com (Outlooks and Inspirations) Perhaps this will serve to simplify my life, anyway.  I hope so. I could use some clarity and simplification in my life right now. So that is one "bridge", my WP blog, that I am happily taking a match to.

Back to bridges in the literal sense. So many fascinating bridges to photograph and comment on, but the ones that really had a profound effect on me were the covered Bridges of Madison County.  Yes, the ones in Iowa that the book and movie were based upon.  I can just hear Meryl Streep with her soft, breathy voice saying:

"There are images that lie within my heart...images with the power to recall the warmth of a summer's night, the stillness before a storm. Reminding me of the first time I ever saw him...there was nowhere else to go except towards love."  Meryl Streep as Francesa in The Bridges of Madison County.

Wow, I am already tearing up...so romantic. In any case, back to reality. Some of the most iconic, historic covered bridges are in Madison County Iowa.  I had the pleasure of touring them a few years ago and they do possess a certain magical and artistic quality about them; reminiscent of a by-gone era. You can almost hear the click clack of horse's hooves as they pass across the wooden timbers.  

Holliwell Bridge- Built in 1880

The covered bridge style was prevalent when you talk about historic bridges, but I also think about the labor intensive, and impressive bridges that were created using stone as the key element. So many of these long standing structures were created as walkways in many of our National and State Parks. Acadia, in Maine, provides beautiful examples of these impressive stone bridges.  From 1915 to 1940 John D. Rockefeller financed, designed and directed the construction of the carriage roads. The roads provided access to the park by horse-drawn carriages and were banned for usage by automobiles. The carriage roads still prohibit automobiles and are treasured by hikers, bikers and horseback riders. The roads include 17 hand-built granite bridges, each a beautiful addition to your travel throughout the park.  Here are a few examples from Acadia. 

So with John D. Rockefeller as the main financier of the project, it was easy to see how the project was expedited.  Back in the early 1900's and carrying through to today's dollars, bridge building can be an expensive and time consuming project.  When we first moved to Wisconsin, the St. Croix Crossing Bridge, spanning the St. Croix river between the borders of Minnesota and Wisconsin was just getting ready to open. We moved in March and the bridge opened in August of 2017. It was a huge undertaking and from it's original inception to completion took almost 10 years.  It's a bridge that I frequently cross, with a beautiful view. However, that still does not diminish my discomfort; my hands still sometimes have a tighter grip on the steering wheel then is probably necessary. Nevertheless, it is a stunning bridge.

Aerial view of St. Croix Crossing (Photo from Minnesota DOT)

One more bridge for today's blog that requires mention in the awesome bridge category: The Mackinac Bridge or the "Mighty Mack", as the locals call it. It is pretty MIGHTY, and slightly terrifying, spanning 5 miles across the chilly waters of the Straits of Mackinac. It connects the upper peninsula of Michigan to the lower portion of the state.  The title of  "Mighty Mac" is very fitting: the two towers of the bridge rise an impressive 550 feet high making them easily visible from many sites in the vicinity.

Quite impressive yet to many folks, myself included, it's an intimidating and scary bridge to cross.  Especially when occasionally they have had to close the bridge due to high winds...you don't want to get blown off into the water....Yikes. I know the closure is probably only applied to high profile vehicles like semi-trucks, but still...it was sufficient to make me nervous about crossing it. Nevertheless, we survived it...I am still glad my husband drove. 

So wish me luck as I cross bridges in the future: both the literal and figurative kind. I am confident that I won't regret the burning of that bridge to provide light for new experiences.  Julie E. Smith

 Mackinac Bridge-Michigan

The 3 C's of Stress Relief: Clarity, Calm and Courage

 Let's face it...everybody has stress in their life. No matter what your profession, station in life or age...we all have to deal with stressful, complicated circumstances. Things change in our life, but how we learn to cope with stress and weather the changes is so important. It is also different for each and every person.

I am currently dealing with some stressful situations in my life and learning to cope with the situation has produced for me a mantra of sorts to help me keep focused on what is important:Clarity, Calm, Courage. I know that the concept of using mantras for meditation is a traditional Buddhist concept but I think the cross-over to guided Christian prayer is a good connection.  Sometimes I don't know how to pray for help, but I know that using this mantra has helped me not only stay focused, but help reduce my stress levels. 

And with a history of depression and bi-polar episodes, I know quite a bit about monitoring and helping to diminish my own stress levels. People need to be able to gauge their own body signals and determine when they are getting close to the "tipping point." I like to think I have learned to do this for myself and have established ways to manage stress. Reminds me of one of my favorite Eleanor Roosevelt quotes:

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water.” 

The 3 C's mantra is just the latest technique that I have developed for my arsenal. Sometimes good things come out of pressure and stressful situations. There is a preponderance of information about mantras, meditation and using them to provide clarity and mental well being. I found some information that helps to back up my supposition of  the benefits of using mantras. Yet, as you can imagine there is so much information that it would not fit into the limitations of one blog. I picked one of my personal favorites to highlight: Om Shanti. 

Om Shanti is perhaps one of the most well known and accessible mantras used today. So, what does Om Shanti mean? There’s actually no direct translation for Om Shanti. That’s because Om isn’t so much as a word as it is a sound, a feeling, and an energetic resonance.So, what about Shanti? Well, Shanti is a Sanskrit word that means, “Peace.” Together, the phrase: Om Shanti is meant to convey: Universal Peace.The use of mantras is beneficial, so I came up with my own: Clarity, Calm and Courage in helping me brave the stress of recent events. It has helped me immensely. 

That first word is so important:CLARITY. So many times a complicated issue just needs time for the dust to settle and solutions can present themselves if given time and quiet speculation. This powerful word of "clarity" first was presented to me by some lovely ladies in my Bible study group. (Thanks Lisa and Nancy) I am so thankful for the clarity and caring that I receive from this group.

The next word is CALM.  This is where the concept of deep breathing, relaxation techniques and meditation comes in. My first exposure to learning how to "breath" was in Lamaze classes so many years ago. In through the nose, and slowly out through pursed lips. It helped me in giving birth and still helps me to relax today. With the inhale and exhale it has been beneficial to me to visualize a word to help with the cleansing and relaxation process.  I heard in a sermon a few weeks ago about using the word GRACE on the inhale to "take in God's grace" and exhale with "GIVING" your burdens to God. It really is quite healing and relaxing ....you should try it.

COURAGE is what brings you the strength to put one foot in front of the other and face the challenges before you.  I am mindful of an inspirational saying prominently displayed on a magnet on my fridge: "Courage does not always roar. sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying. "I will try again tomorrow".  (Mary Anne Radmacher) My friend Joan gave it to me several years ago and it truly is an inspiration to me...Thanks Joan! 

Yet courage for me also is sharing these thoughts in a blog. Sometimes perhaps it feels a bit self-serving and in some ways that is true. Writing for me is therapy. Yet, I sincerely hope that in sharing these thoughts, someone will feel encouraged and inspired as to help them with the stresses in their life. Just remember....don't forget to breath deeply and things will eventually work out. Perhaps not the way you envisioned, but, This too shall Pass......Use the 3 C's to help you on the Journey.

Julie E. Smith

The Joy Of Sex.....I mean the Joy of the "To Do" List .....

 Oh, now that I have your attention....there is a wonderful satisfaction from making a list and completing everything on said list.  Granted it may not be as great as sex but there is wonderful sense of accomplishment when I successfully complete my list.  Admit it...if you saw a title of a blog just about List Making....ho-hum..but Sex always sells. Maybe they should make grocery lists with provocative pictures. That would liven up the trip to the store for a sometimes mundane task.

Nevertheless, I am a strong believer in the power of To Do lists.  First and foremost the most obvious advantage is that it organizes your thoughts and helps prioritize what really needs to be done and what can be postponed.  Then a list creates a sense of accomplishment when you can cross each task off the list. Even if our list is comprised of tasks that you do every week, it feels like getting a pat on the back when you cross "Clean bathrooms" off the list.  And if by some miracle you complete the whole list? Victory!! Throw it out and start the cycle again for next week.  I say next week, because I think it is a whole lot easier to do weekly lists. Even though my husband and I are not in the traditional 9 to 5 routine, it became ingrained in my psyche to do the bulk of the household chores and projects on the weekends. Back in the day when I worked 40 hours a week, many things were saved for the weekend...hence the weekend list. Funny how things like that stick with you over time. I probably wouldn't think of vacuuming or cleaning the bathrooms on a day other than Saturday. I know...kinda weird.  Sometimes we are creatures of habit. However, I bet I am not the only one who enjoys the functionality and goal setting joys of list making!

Some folks use their phones for lists...Not me, no way...I love the simple joy of taking pen to paper. I have oodles of notepads around the house and I never hesitate to buy more. It is truly amazing that any place you travel, little gift shops have souvenir notepads to help as a remembrance of your journey. How lovely it is to write "Dust Living Room" against the backdrop of the majestic mountains of Glacier National Park. So lovely to remember trips when you use a notepad for routine tasks.  I even was given  a notepad from Greece from when my Sister-in-Law visited there. Thanks Christy!

A sampling of a few of my favorites

So an article in Forbes magazine about time management (published 0n 7/20/20 by Kevin Leyes, Forbes Business Council) lists the top 9 ways for efficient time management. While trying not to sound too smug....just guess what was at the top of the list: "Prepare a task list." Here is the excerpt from that article that confirms my assertion and lets me know that I'm not obsessive....just trying to get my life organized. It also has some helpful pointers:

"1. Prepare a task list. Whether daily or weekly, preparing a task list will help you identify all the activities you need to accomplish or situations you need to solve. Every morning before you start the day, go through your list and try to adjust your time for each item. Making this list will make it easier for you to outline the tasks assigned for the day and plan to get them done. Eventually, you can get into the habit of spending a healthy amount of time on work."

I will say that as a writer I have suffered from writers block and perhaps it seems lame, but I am starting to feel all my list making counts as writing. Why not? It allows my mind to focus on tasks that need attending to and many times working on my blogs or ideas for my next book is often on my To Do List. And when it's on my list....by golly it gets done. Finishing this blog was on my list, guess that helped me "Git er done!" (author's note:must be spoken with Texas drawl)  Perhaps the book wouldn't be completely done by the end of the list, but work on it would transpire.  All Hail the Power of the List!

Brain Training.......insights into the Art of Self Hypnosis

 

I was diagnosed several years ago with Bi-Polar Depression; that is much easier to say than "I am Bi-Polar."  It may just be a matter of semantics, but to me it feels more like something I deal with on a day to day basis as part of my personality instead of an "affliction". In any case, over the years I have had plenty of experience and therapy for learning techniques for calming my Bi-Polar brain activity.  Even if one is not Bi-Polar....let's face it, we all have issues. If we can generate the ability to center ourselves and calm our minds it's very beneficial in this chaotic world we live in.

Sigmund Freud--1921

I am not the master of utilizing hypnosis as taught by Sigmund Freud, the "master" of hypnotic therapy, but I am able to use several of his pioneering techniques.  It's interesting that I always thought of Freud as the "Father" of hypnotherapy, but research on the topic reveals that in the latter part of the 18th century Franz Mesmer, a German physician began developing healing techniques based on hypnosis. Then in the late 1880's, Freud was impressed by the therapeutic techniques of hypnosis and their potential use for healing neurotic disorders.  Like many techniques, in the light of new knowledge, Freud abandoned the use of hypnosis in 1896 and formulated the use of psychoanalysis.

Just like many techniques for healing and wellness change, our quest today for a healthy mind continues and it's interesting how the tools for achieving nirvana have changed.  With the ever-present dependence on our phones and technology...it is no surprise that many apps have surfaced for meditation in our busy lives.  An internet search shows that there are at least 15 available apps to be used to facilitate meditation and mindfulness.

 

When I looked through many of these apps they sound so appealing with exercises generated to produce a sense of calm.  Yet, when you get to the "bottom line", a monthly fee (with amazing ranges on amounts!) will be required after your "free trial" period. Well, that does not help me eliminate stress.  I think I can learn how to breath and practice free association without adding to the STRESS of having another monthly bill to pay.  Yet, among those programs, I did find one that was very intriguing and yes it was free...always. It is called Smiling Mind.  I downloaded and have tried it several times. It is a pretty impressive program with all different age groups in mind.  It is also includes specialized programs for educators and healthcare workers. I really like it and am encouraged by it...and I don't even have to stress over a monthly bill. Another interesting thing about this app is that you have the choice of a Male or Female voice. I initially choice female...like a friend talking to me. However I may need to change it because she sounds so much like the GPS in my car.  I expect her at any minute to say turn left at the end of the road. SIGH...oh, the strange idiosyncrasies of modern technology.

Another technique I have learned for calming and meditation (and in my case usually an aid to sleep) is the use of deep breathing and the use of a one word chant. Using just one word helps your mind funnel down to what is really important. Use one word to INHALE, then another word on the EXHALE. The words that I use, and the simplicity of this simple exercise,  came to to me as an inspiration from our Pastor.  He recommended to inhale and think of God's Grace, then on the exhale give your worries and pain to God.  So for purposes of simplicity, I use Inhale:GRACE, then Exhale: PAIN. It almost always works for me.

Tai Chi at Sunset

So no one can deny the strong body/mind connection. Yoga is a perfect example of how this practice can be used not only for physical well being, but to enhance mindfulness through meditation. As an overweight, older woman with bad knees....my Yoga days are pretty much over. Yet I absolutely love the practice of Tai Chi. It helps balance, strength, focus and definitely helps foster a sense of calm. I have taken several classes in recent years, but have yet to find classes since I moved. I'm thinking a DVD of it just wouldn't be the same. My quest for a Tai Chi class continues.

So every individual has differing needs to maintain their mental health and overall well-being. I would be interested to hear my Dear Readers your techniques to wellness. Also, there are so many options out there...do you have a favorite?  So don't forget to breath and if at all possible...RELAX.