Is there anybody out there?

"Hey You! Out there in the cold. Getting lonely, getting old. Can you feel me?.....Don't help them to bury the light.  Don't give in without a fight."
                                                                         Pink Floyd, The Wall-1979

Strains of this classic Pink Floyd song have been going through my head as it seems so appropriate for my situation currently. I'm feeling lonely, old and in the dark...with respect to my writing anyway. I have been blogging for close to four years. I have certainly had my share of ups and downs and victories. Several of my articles have found publication beyond the boundaries of my blog. Which of course is a good thing. Yet, I am almost at the point of "throwing in the towel" and giving up. Although in the words of Pink Floyd: Don't give in without a fight.

So that is what I am here to do : fight and speak up for what I feel are injustices and things that can't possibly be just a "random series of events."  I do want to fight, I don't want to give up, so I am writing this particular blog to provide a confession of sorts, and a cleansing that....well... if nothing else it will clarify in my own mind events that happened in the wonderful world of blogging.  Besides, any good therapist will tell you it's not healthy to keep things bottled up inside.

When I first started blogging I only had one blog: this one. Then when I realized the volume of material I was generating and the diversity of topics I decided to open another blog with WordPress: travelingamericablog.com As per the title, it is about travel in the USA. I have had so much fun writing all the features and I still kept up with BOTH blogs on a variety of topics, but I always funneled the travel features to the WordPress blog. My followers grew and grew and I believe the more features I wrote, I also grew as a writer. When the number of my followers exceeded 200, I decided to try my hand at advertising on my blog and perhaps I could earn a few coins for my efforts. That's where the "fun" begins. 

 When I made the decision to allow advertising on my blog, I had exactly 217 followers and  I had formatted the blog to make it very user friendly. I occasionally got comments, and I like to think folks used my site to get travel information if they were considering a specific location. After accepting advertising on my site, I went several weeks without posting anything....then as soon as I did post an article, my followers dropped from 217 to 20 within two days!!  How could 197 people decide within  a 2 day period that they didn't like my articles?! It almost didn't seems possible! I accredit it to people not liking the new advertising aspect of my blog. In any case, I had an extensive dialogue with the "chat" feature from the folks at WordPress, trying so VERY hard to see if we could figure out what happened. WordPress refused to accept the notion that my followers left because of the advertising, but what else could it be? Did 197 people suddenly think my writing was crap? Whatever the case, I ended up feeling dejected, frustrated and a failure in the blogging world.

I still don't know what happened but I sometimes feel as if nobody is out there....won't anybody at least say HI!?  It would be nice to know that I am just not banging on these keys and all my words are drifting into the "cloud" never to be seen again by mortal man. **SIGH**

Writing is an art...and all artists suffer for their art.  So here I am again. It never is good to keep all that anger bottled up inside. Look at all the paintings  with anger splashed on the canvas. Look at angry music throughout the decades. Writing is no different; as a writer it feels good to spill that anger out. So without sounding too crass...  **ck the World, I'm going to keep on writing till I die.  JES