Friends for a Lifetime

"Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart." Eleanor Roosevelt
I have been reflecting lately on friendships, both the ones I have had for years and new friends I am now making these last few months. In light of recent changes in my life, many of my relationships have changed.  Sometimes life changes open our eyes to ideas and new concepts...both the good things and some not so easy to adjust to.

After our recent move out of state, my husband and I are loving our new life; making adjustments to our new life style.  Things are all quite well and good, but my only complaint is missing my female friends: my girlfriends. Now some will say that after a certain age women should stop referring to their friends as girlfriends, it just seems juvenile, some might say.  Well I am of the opinion that certain acquaintances are just acquaintances, but others are elevated to status of being a close friend...a girlfriend. When I am 90 years old I hope to have girlfriends.  The importance of girlfriends in women's lives should not be underestimated.  A favorite author of mine, Anna Quindlen, speaks to this topic:
            "Ask any woman how she makes it through the day, and she may mention her calendar, her to-do lists, her babysitter. But if you push on how she really makes it through her day, or, more important, her months and years, how she stays steady when things get rocky, who she calls when the doctor says "I'd like to run a few more tests" or when her son moves in with the girl she's never much liked or trusted, she won't mention any of those things. She will mention her girlfriends."
                (From Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake, Anna Quindlen)

Girlfriends! Never underestimate their value.

Just reading that paragraph gets me choked up because it makes me realize the support I have had from my girlfriends through the years and now we live, what feels anyway, so far apart.  I am making new friends with new activities, but we don't share the history and the same emotional depth that I had created with the women that I have known for 25 years.

I spoke with my Mom on this topic and as usual she has some sage advice on the topic. She brought me to the realization that I will never be able to replace the friendships of the women that I moved away from....they stand alone as unique relationships that I can always cherish, in their own right.  My relationships with them were created when we were all raising our children together, having those same commonalities. After the kids moved on...we still enjoyed many of the same things and shared wonderful histories always peppered with stories of: "Do you remember the time when..."
Now that I have accepted the fact that I will never "replace" my friends with new ones in my new area, I can move forward knowing that new relationships I develop with friends will be different. New girlfriends will be based on new adventures in my life that have yet to be determined. I will not be going back in time to when I was raising my boys, so the events that connect me to other possible girlfriends will be different. Yet in the same token, new friends would never take away from the memories and the joy of the relationships I have shared in the past. With each relationship we learn and grow....just adding another chapter to the book of our lives.

I will always hold in my heart, the wonderful relationships and memories of the women in my life.  We will see each other again, of course, but not as frequently, because of the miles between us. There are certain friends that even if you don't see them very often, the bond is always there. You just simply "take up where you left off".  The people that you know like that in life are such a valuable source of joy....treasure and nurture those relationships.

To treasure, always...wherever you may live. JES

Author's note: Just returned from a visit with my terrific girlfriends & so true...they will always have a place in my heart & in my life.